Sex is marriage, not a ring and paper

Q & ACategory: QuestionsSex is marriage, not a ring and paper
Jas asked 1 year ago

If sex is marriage and a couple has one person in the relationship who has had sex before; what does that mean for their marriage when they do have sex?

1 Answers
Best Answer
Bayadwa Staff answered 1 year ago


Thank you for your question. Sex is NOT marriage. Sex is just a physical act. Marriage is an agreement between two people to be bound to one another. Evidence of this agreement is a piece of paper and a ring is a visual evidence of a union of marriage as it is a universal sign recognized around the world. According to the laws of Yah you need a bill of divorce to dissolve a marriage. That is a piece of paper.

How do you prove that the marriage took place before that even comes into place? A marriage covenant. A covenant is a fancy word for a contact. There are so many scriptures that prove this, but lets use common sense a little bit. Yah put in written his covenant with Israel which is the Torah laws.

A marriage also is a covenant. There is a teaching going around, that simply having sex makes you married. I am going to quickly prove, using scriptures, that that is simply not the case. First, lets look at what the word \”married\” means in the Hebrew.

Many times in the scriptures the word Married, has been translated from the Hebrew Word Baal. Baal means Lordship As Hebrews, we need to put off our western way of thinking, Marriage according to the scriptures is a man having Lordship over a woman.

Initially, The father has \”Lordship\” over his daughter & will give his Lordship to a man, when they enter into a Covenant, which we would consider a \”Marriage Agreement\”, in which case, this Betroths his daughter to the man, This transfers the \”Lordship\” from the father to the man, which makes the man, her husband before they even have sex.


So, to summarize, a Marriage Covenant is what we would consider an a Engagement or a man being Betrothed to a woman. This is why you read throughout the scriptures that a betrothed woman, was considered a wife & she was subject to the law of adultery if she layed with another man, even before they came together because the Covenant Agreement already made them \”married\” to each other, & gave the man Lordship over the woman, which we call his wife. Let\’s read a couple of scriptures to prove this…

Ex.22: [16] And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. [17] If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.

As you see in this scripture, the man sleeps with a woman, then looks for his father\’s hand in marriage. But the father flat our refuses, & the man was still subject to pay the dowry of virgins with no wife in return.

No Lordship is transferred from the father to the man, just because the man slept with his daughter. The father has that much power over his daughter & her future. Without the father\’s permission, your not going to marry his daughter. but does having sex, simply give you this Lordship over a woman, or does having sex make you married.

Scriptures like Gen 24:67, has made many to think so…

Genesis 24:67 And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah\’s tent, and took Rebecca, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother\’s death. Some will take this verse & try to make you believe that this means having sex makes you married, but this is just not the case. A marriage is covenant between a man & a woman, or between a father on behalf of his daughter & a man. As we read in Exodus 22:16, a man could not by pass the father to have sex with his daughter & then turn around & make that woman his wife.

Many will also use Deut. 22:28 to prove having sex makes you married, Deut 22:28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel\’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Deuteronomy speaks truth, BUT only if the father approves. If the father disapproves, we have the Law in Exodus 22:16-17, that will require the man to pay the dowry, but not get a wife. This law was made for the daughter & the father’s protection against unrighteous men who lust after woman before they make marriage covenants. This scripture in Deuteronomy is most commonly misinterpretated as rape, but if you think about it & you common sense, how is it possible that a man rapes a woman then is guaranteed to have her as his wife, but if a man entices a woman he may not get her as a wife if the father utterly refuses. Does that make any kind of sense?

Deut. 22:28 isn\’t talking about rape, but that is a whole another subject, you will not marry the woman if the father refuses & that\’s my point, having sex does not make you married. Sex never automatically made a man married to any woman in the scriptures, but Sex was made for marriage, or covenant\’s between a man & a woman.


Genesis 2:18 And YHWH Elohim said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 21 And YHWH Elohim caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which YHWH Elohim had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

We have another good example a Marriage Covenant in the Scriptures.


Tobias 7: 8 Then said Tobias to Raphael, Brother Azarias, speak of those things of which thou didst talk in the way, and let this business be dispatched. 9 So he communicated the matter with Raguel: and Raguel said to Tobias, Eat and drink, and make merry: 10 For it is meet that thou shouldest marry my daughter: nevertheless I will declare unto thee the truth. 11 I have given my daughter in marriage to seven men, who died that night they came in unto her: nevertheless for the present be merry. But Tobias said, I will eat nothing here, till we agree and swear one to another. 12 Raguel said, Then take her from henceforth according to the manner, for thou art her cousin, and she is thine, and the merciful YHWH give you good success in all things. 13 Then he called his daughter Sara, and she came to her father, and he took her by the hand, and gave her to be wife to Tobias, saying, Behold, take her after the law of Moses, and lead her away to thy father. And he blessed them; 14 And called Edna his wife, and took paper, and did write an instrument of covenants, and sealed it. 15 Then they began to eat. 16 After Raguel called his wife Edna, and said unto her, Sister, prepare another chamber, and bring her in thither. 17 Which when she had done as he had bidden her, she brought her thither: and she wept, and she received the tears of her daughter, and said unto her, 18 Be of good comfort, my daughter; the Elohim of heaven and earth give thee joy for this thy sorrow: be of good comfort, my daughter.

Tobias 8: 1 And when they had supped, they brought Tobias in unto her. 4 And after that they were both shut in together, Tobias rose out of the bed, and said, Sister, arise, and let us pray that God would have pity on us. 5 Then began Tobias to say, Blessed art thou, O God of our fathers, and blessed is thy holy and glorious name for ever; let the heavens bless thee, and all thy creatures. 6 Thou madest Adam, and gavest him Eve his wife for an helper and stay: of them came mankind: thou hast said, It is not good that man should be alone; let us make unto him an aid like unto himself. 7 And now, O Lord, I take not this my sister for lush but uprightly: therefore mercifully ordain that we may become aged together. 8 And she said with him, Amen.

Scriptures went out. To be Betrothe is to enter into a covenant, which creates a Lordship relationship between a man & his woman. Let\’s not mix the western understanding of Marriage with that of Covenant\’s between a man & woman. Woman: How will you know that a man will treat you as his wife, without any covenant agreement or exchanging of vows?

Stop giving away the milk for free. Men: Are you seeking a woman, remember that when a man enter\’s into a covenant agreement with a woman, he does becomes Lord over her, which means he has to provide her food, clothing & shelter as states in the law per… so, you need to be able to provide those things to her, & it can\’t be taken away if you get another wife. I say this because men are seeking multiple wives are many aren\’t even able to take care of the first, yet they seek a second. YHWH Bless All those who enter into a righteous covenant.

FYI – All covenants had a witness/ token/ or a testimony. Theses serves as an evidence of said covenant. Do your research.

Malachi 2:14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because YHWH hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 2:15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a seed of Elohim. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 2:16 For YHWH, the Elohim of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith YHWH of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.